Monday

When Jen is induced on Monday, here are some names we won't be considering ...

JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell and Adolf Hitler Campbell.

Good names for a trio of toddlers? Heath and Deborah Campbell think so. The Holland Township couple has picked those names and the oldest child, Adolf Hitler Campbell, turns 3 today.

This has given rise to a problem, because the ShopRite supermarket in Greenwich Township has refused to make a cake for young Adolf's birthday.

"We believe the request ... to inscribe a birthday wish to Adolf Hitler is inappropriate," said Karen Meleta, a ShopRite spokeswoman.

The Campbells turned down the market's offer to make a cake with enough room for them to write their own inscription and can't understand what all of the fuss is about.

http://www.lehighvalleylive.com/today/index.ssf/2008/12/holland_township_family_angry.html

Black Friday

This madness that is the Black Friday shopping frenzy must be stopped.

The deals aren't that good, are they? They certainly aren't good enough to justify this ...

A Wal-Mart worker died after being trampled when hundreds of shoppers smashed through the doors of a Long Island store Friday morning, police and witnesses said.

The 34-year-old worker, employed as an overnight stock clerk, tried to hold back the unruly crowds just after the Valley Stream store opened at 5 a.m.

Witnesses said the surging throngs of shoppers knocked the man down. He fell and was stepped on. As he gasped for air, shoppers ran over and around him.

http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/2008/11/28/2008-11-28_worker_dies_at_long_island_walmart_after.html

Think about that for a second ... people were in such a rush to get into a freakin' Wal-Mart that they killed a man.

I've often wanted to push my way out of a Wal-Mart, but never into one.

Remind me not to defend Arkansas in the future

The next time I hear somebody talking about the hicks and hillbillies living in Arkansas, I'm afraid I'll have to shrug my shoulders and STFU.

That's because a University of Arkansas poll revealed a whopping 20 percent of Arkies believe Obama is actually a Muslim.

But, on the bright side, 55 percent oppose Act 1. Originally touted as a way to keep gay couples from adopting children, it's been written to prohibit unmarried heteros who live together and single heteros from adopting as well. That means, God forbid, anything happens to me and Jen and this passes, then my mother wouldn't be able to adopt her granddaughter.

http://www.arktimes.com/blogs/arkansasblog/2008/10/poll_watching.aspx

Pastafarians 1, Westboro Baptist Church 0

For some odd reason, the Westboro nutjobs decided to protest in downtown Little Rock today. They're the family/cult devoted to Fred Phelps who go around protesting at the funerals of homosexuals, soldiers and anybody not in their cult.

But in Little Rock, they were met with a band of Pastafarians. Dressed as pirates, they counter-protested. And the Phelps whackos packed up and left.

Bonus points for the Pastafarians: Today's protest was held on Talk A Like A Pirate Day.


http://www.arktimes.com/blogs/arkansasblog/2008/09/way_to_go_matie.aspx

How to protect your car in a hurricane

Photo from KTRK's Web site ...

Never Again

What'd you do Wednesday night?

I spent two hours in Hell, or as it's known in Fort Smith "The Growing Kids Consignment Sale."

Angie said we just had to attend. There were bargains galore. Strollers that go for $300 new sell for $50. Kids' furniture, clothes, diaper bags, you name it they've got it.

On the plus side, the people running this thing are sticklers about what they accept for the sale. Teeny little stain? Nope, won't accept it. Missing a button? Sorry, no thanks. And, thanks to Angie putting Jen's name on some of her own kids' clothes, we got to go on Wednesday night before it was open to the general public.

On the minus side, it was overwhelming. Here's a photo of the setup from the sale's Web site (yes, it has a Web site) ...




(Click on the photo and you can get a bigger look at it.)

Now if Wednesday was like that photo, I'd have been fine. But imagine a few hundred women, dozens of kids running loose and a sprinkling of men carrying the piles of clothes being bought. And I do mean piles. People were using 50-gallon trash cans as shopping carts and were filling them up.

Naturally, these women were ruthless too. They'd nudge you with the strollers they were buying to get you to move when they wanted to look at something. I had one woman ask me if I was going to buy a diaper bag ... that I was holding in my hands! (We did buy it. Laura Ashley, $10 and in perfect condition.)

Luckily, the next time there's one of these sales I won't be attending. I'll pull a Jason and say "Sorry, but somebody has to stay home with the baby."

Borat was in Fort Smith

Seems mixed martial arts will be skewered in his next movie ...

In Fort Smith, the city's convention center hosted "Blue Collar Brawlin"' the next night. Fort Smith police Sgt. Adam Holland said 18 off-duty police officers provided security at the event.

During preparations, Holland said organizers told him a character named "Straight Dave" would goad a planted audience member into the ring for a fight. The two men would then wrestle, rip away some of their clothes and share a brief kiss reminiscent of one between Baron Cohen and Will Ferrell in the film "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby."

Producers said "there would be a romantic embrace," Holland said. "They said it was kind of to essentially make fun, poke fun at wrestling - two guys rolling around on the floor, all sweaty."

Instead, an elaborate array of mounted and handheld videocameras caught the crowd of 1,600's reaction as the two men "went right up to the line" of the city's morality laws, Holland said. The two men stripped down to their underwear, kissed and rubbed on each other, the sergeant said.

The audience, as well as local fighters drawn to take part in the show, became enraged.

"It set the crowd off lobbing beers," Holland said. "They had beers in plastic cups. Those things can get some distance on them actually."

Holland said it took officers about 45 minutes to clear the convention center, as the two actors sprinted away through a specially set-aside tunnel.

Those in attendance were told by several signs on display that they'd be filmed, Holland said, and signed waivers before the event.

http://news.aol.com/story/_a/fake-ark-bouts-showing-men-kissing-draw/n20080707181609990001?ecid=RSS0001

This is your biggest concern? Seriously!?!

I did not watch Wednesday's Democratic debate from Pennsylvania. But I have read quite a bit about the aftermath. The ABC questioners (George Snuffleupaguss ... I mean Stephanopoulos and Charles Gipson) did a horrific job. Their questions seemed to come straight from the Republican National Committee. And they wasted a lot of time on trivial BS.

At one point, they used a video clip of a PA voter. She was upset because Obama doesn't wear an American flag pin on his lapel. Some bloggers recognized the dude's name and found a New York Times story that featured him ...

Asked whom she might vote for in the coming presidential primary election and Nash McCabe, 52, seems almost relieved to be able to unpack the dossier she has been collecting in her head.

It is not about whom she likes, but more a bill of particulars about why she cannot vote for Senator Barack Obama of Illinois.

"How can I vote for a president who won't wear a flag pin?" Mrs. McCabe, a recently unemployed clerk typist, said in a booth at the Valley Dairy luncheonette in this quiet, small city in western Pennsylvania.

Mr. Obama has said patriotism is about ideas, not flag pins.

"I watch him on TV," Mrs. McCabe said. "I keep looking for that lapel pin."

Go back and reread that block. What stands out to you? Yeah, she's unemployed and her biggest concern for the upcoming election is a flag pin.

No, her choice won't be based on the economy. That mortgage mess that might cost $1 trillion to fix, gas at record prices, the dollar at record lows, a recession and possible depression are all meaningless to this dolt. That American flag pin trumps it all.